Mubobo man in trouble

By Patience Tandawa

A self confessed Harare Mubobo man is in trouble for allegedly seducing more than 10 women in Mufakose via blooooth or miracle sex.

Chenjerai Mabwe of House number 23456 Mufakose 3 confessed to possesing Mubobo powers after he had been caght red handed exposong his manhood while standing closley against a teenage girl (name withheld) and spilling semen on her dress.

"Ineed i sometimes end up many people's bedroom, i think its a spirit, i have tested at least 10 women from around here," he said.

The man was beaten by an angry mob ust to be rescued by police officers from Marimba station.

Fake SA Rands flood market

By Patience Tandawa

AN influx of fake South African Rands has hit the Zimbabwean informal trading sector as peprpetrators pounce on unsupecting wiling buyers.

At Road port and Coppa Cabana Harare, reports of fake notes are making rounds in these money changing havens and police have urged members of the public to be wary of being duped of their hard earned cash.

Pizza craze hits Bulawayo

By Patience Tandawa

A Scramble for Pizza has hit the City of Kings and Queens this i can bet with the last coin in my purse.

Every Tuesday, long winding ques can be seen in the town's most frequented pizza outlets as a result of the promotion the pizza stores run every Tuesday whereby one buys one pizza and gets another one for free.

"Me and my friend serve three dollars each every week to make sure we get at least tow free pizza every week, i pray thei promotion stays for sure," said Ntombi Ncube a NUST student.

Pizza has become so popular that some low income girls are even selling their dignity for a tray of pizza in Bulawayo. During the ZITF period, reports of juveniles misbehaving were rampart in the city and eye witnesses say most of the young nones who were mentioned in the papers had been potted at Pizza in earlier.

Accident exposes cheating couple

By Patience Tandawa

A cheating Kuwadzana couple was yesterday exposed when a Kombi rammed into their hide in the early hours of Wokers Day hoiday.

It is believed that on the eventful day, Madzimai Margaret of the Madzibaba yechishanu invited her boyfriend of three years into her martrimonial home while her husbund madzibaba Ransom a truck driver had gone on a trip to the Democratic Republic of Congo.

It is believed that while Madzima Magii as she is affectionately known was busy providing bed an breakfast to the her boyfriend. A Kombi which was being driven by a drunken man veered of the road and rammed against Maidzimai's wall exposing the love birds who were busy playing hide the sausage in Madzibaba's matrimonial home.

The couple was later pulled out of the rabble in their birthday suits before getting a hiding from the angry mob who accused the duo of infidelity.

Bitbridge vendors sell well water

By Patience Tandawa

VENDORS in the boarder town of Beitbridge have resorted to selling well water to unsuspecting travelers.

Vendors who spoke to this blogger confirmed the incident and said they have no other option but to sell well water since they cant access purified water at reasonable prices form suppliers.
"We cant just sit and die in the face of poverty and bankruptcy, we sell well water to thristy travellers and because of theh heat this sie they cant even give themselves a chance to ask the source of the water," said Mr Hlanhla Tshabangu a water vendor.

Authorities however fear for the health of travelers as they doubt the source of the water.

Uncle axes nephew over Tobacco

A tobacco row ended bloody after a Chiweshe man was last week axed for swindling his uncle of eight bells of tobacco without the latter’s consent.

It is believed that on the 26^th of April, Gift Mbewe a nephew to Chiweshe prominent tobacco famer Mr Alias Rararadza nicodimingly smuggled eight bells of tobacco to the sales floors while his uncle had gone on a business trip to Harare.

Gift’s consignment is believed to have fetched higher than most bells at the floor due to its high grade. Gift is believed to have gone on a spending spree with some of Harare’s socialites for some days before returning to Chiweshe.  This prompted other villagers who had gone with gift to the floors to call his uncle to congratulate him for producing such quality tobacco at the same time informing him about his nephew’s shenanigans.

The Uncle Mr Raradza did not waste time but returned just to find his nephew spending the last drop of his spoils. Without hesitation, Raradza is believed to have axed his nephew on the scene injuring his spinal code leading to the uncle’s arrest.

Witnesses who spoke to this blogger on conditions of anonymity confirmed the incident.

“(Muzukuru anga anetsa hake hatirambe kasi kuzotoma nedemo here, dai vakataurirana havo nekuti ikozvino muzukuro atoremarahandifunge akafamba futi,) We don’t deny that the cousin had wronged his uncle but surely he didn’t deserve to be axed, they rather would have talked things through, look at the nephew now, he is wheelchair ridden and I doubt if he ever walks,” said one of the eyewitnesses.

Miss Biggie thumps cell phone thief

By Patience Tandawa

THERE was drama at Joina City in Harare on Thursday night last week after a Miss Biggie Matofotofo look alike thumped a cell phone thief after a passerby had raised alarm of the thief who had snatched the lady’s cellphone.

Onlookers say Miss Biggie responded swiftly to the tip off and grabbed the thief by the waist with a grip so hard than that of a vice. She dragged him until he fell face down and started baptizing the thief in a pool of fists and bites.

The crowd  joined in to give the perpetrator instant justice. Police officers later arrived to disperse the angry mob. The phone thief was later taken to First street police station for questioning together with Miss Matofotofo.

Prostitutes hike fares during ZITF

By Patience Tandawa

For Bulawayo prostitutes, Christmas comes twice in a year as most commercial sex workers are reported to have hiked service fees during the trade fair period.

A commercial sex worker Nomsa Ndlovhu from Phumula South said she is excited about the ZITF and always prays the fair remains a Bulawayo event as it is one time she cashes in big time.

“I love ZITF, man from outside Bulawayo are just two generous imagine getting a clean US$20 note for something I usually get US$5 less. We are making better money than before, it’s like a Christmas to us,” said Nomsa.

The Zimbabwe International Trade Fair (ZITF) is an annual event that takes place in Bulawayo in a bid to foster trade amongst countries within and outside the region. However commercial sex opportunists have also found it prude to trade the forbidden fruit during this business fiesta.

Most men who would have received bush and travel allowances from their organisations prefer to book cheaper accommodation just to spare some green backs to gratify their appetites.

Dirty panties found in beer pot

By Patience Tandawa

A disturbing scenario has left tongues wagging in Gwabalanda as patrons at a certain Shebeen discovered stained panties in a mature Umphomboti pot.

Gogo Mazinyane of house umber, 23456 Gwabalanda, discovered the dirty linen after having gulped  about three quarters of the beer from the pot.  As she was holding the pot against her lips, she felt a heavy foreign body pressing against her lips.

Upon discovering the panties, Gogo raised alarm causing pandemonium amongst leading to the beating of the brewer Skumbuzo Sthole.

In interview, Mr Silas Nkomo of Gwabalanda said he would never drink from Gogo Mazinyane brewery ever.

Harare storm drowns toddler

By Patience Tandawa

THE continued heavy rains in Harare have reportedly claimed the life of a toddler in the marshy areas of Mabvuku.

The name of the toddler is still to be established as most residents still believe it is a baby dumping scenario.

The baby which is believed to be new born is reported to have drowned on Wednesday when heavy rains pounded on most Harare suburbs leaving behind a trail of distraction.  The baby was found in a drain early Thursday morning by passersby’s who later informed the authorities.

A resident in the area said the incident comes as a shock as no trace of the deceased’s biological mother has been established so far.

“It is saddening to note that some mothers can be that heartless, this baby could have been something but yet somebody does even care to know what happened to her child,” said Mrs Mallosa in an interview.